Who’s Making Sacrifices?

In an attempt to take my weight loss seriously, I signed up for a 6 week session with a personal trainer at the local gym. In that first meeting, I sat across from my assigned trainer, listening to her life story.

“I was a stay at home mom with four kids and after ten years, I was overweight and depressed. Everyone was taken care of but me! So, I had to make changes in my life.”

I nodded along.

“And that’s what you need to do, too. You need to give yourself that time and stop worrying about only your family all the time.”

They struck me as powerful words as she was saying them. Of course, I constantly remind my friends all the time that they need to take time for themselves. You can’t constantly run non-stop without giving to yourself a bit.

But after that first training session ran late, I rushed out of the gym and jumped into my car to find a text message from Jason: “We were waiting for you. We’re going to eat now.”

One look at that text and the tears were streaming down my face. I had missed out on family time to take care of “me”. No matter how many times the trainer and Jason tried to tell me that everything would be fine, I just couldn’t shake the feeling that I was a terrible mother for not being there with my kids.

The week continued in the same manner. I was struggling to find the balance of spending time with the kids and taking the trainer’s workout schedule seriously. Every night resulted in me crying on the drive home. Just when I finally thought I had it under control, I came home from my Monday night work out to find a very sullen tween.

After giving him a hug good night and sending him off to bed. As Anthony walked out of the room, I looked over at Jason, wondering what was going on.

“He said he wishes you were home more often….”

Oh no. More tears. This just wasn’t working. Missing the family during the only two hours I get with them in the first place wasn’t “taking care” of my family. And honestly, it left me feeling empty and disconnected from the people I most cared about.

It’s time to make it work. I realize that I shouldn’t be sacrificing my own health to take care of others. But on the same note, my family shouldn’t have to suffer for me getting myself into shape. Whether by working out at 5am or at 9pm, there’s got to be a way for us all to have our needs met.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Reboloke
    Oct 04, 2011 @ 14:29:08

    Have you tried asking the boys for suggestions of activities they would want to do as a family that would help you get the exercise you need so you don’t have to choose going to the gym to exercise or spending time with them?


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