Having It All

I came across a journal I had written in November of 2008, back when it was just the boys, Jason and I:

“I want everything. I want the job, the kids, the husband. I want to be able to impress colleagues at work and then come home and make a gourmet meal. I want to have a Masters degree and my kids excelling in school. I want people to come over to my house and see a stylish, clean, and fun home. I want Christmas Shopping done in November so December can be spent making Christmas candies and cookies for all my friends and family and I want my kids to go to school feeling happy towards me as their parent.

However… I’m realizing that there’s a point where you have to prioritize what’s the most important. My photography is already out the window. I haven’t touched my camera in probably 6 months. Next was the house… so what if I still have folded clothes in the living room and sorted dirty laundry laying in the sun room. But that’s still not enough…

I’m looking forward to the day when I can look back at this year and think how far we’ve come and everything we were able to accomplish through all the chaos. This, too shall pass.”

Wow. Two years later, and I could have written this exact same journal entry today. I have always dreamed that motherhood would be different. Somehow I expected that I could travel the world as a CFO of a major corporation and still be home to make cornish game hens and prosciutto wrapped asparagus for my family.

Oh, but that’s not where we are today. No – today I’m lucky if I get a chance to make ANYTHING. In fact, since the moment that I was pregnant, Jason has taken over 95% of the cooking in the household! (And I’m thankful he’s turned into a wonderful cook!) Often nights I’m pondering how other families handle it. How do most working couples find the time to get done what they need to get done while still making time for their children? How do you find a balance between your lives as adults and your role as a parent?

Oddly enough, reading my old journal entry gave me hope. Because what’s not written in here is the time in between. There was indeed a time when we had life under control and we were able to just enjoy our roles as parents. I never did really pick that camera back up – except to take pictures on the big occasions – but the important thing is realizing that we will again find our groove. Maybe having a baby can shake things up for a while, but I’m confident that someday soon we’ll be back on the horse to ride the chaos!


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Becky
    Nov 30, 2010 @ 00:40:56

    I’m keeping the dream alive, right along with you! p.s. I’m surrounded by laundry and have barely started with Christmas preparations…


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