If You Hear It Enough…

A friend of mine commented that he felt like if you were smacked with the same thing over and over again, you’d eventually start to believe it. (I, of course, had to tell him “you’re a penguin! *slap* You’re a penguin! *slap*” But anyhow….) This really got me thinking about moms and what we deal with on a regular basis.

How many moms have a bad self esteem after they give birth? How many moms feel like they aren’t as pretty as they used to bed? And slowly nip themselves on every little thing that has changed on their body. Suddenly, we’re completely self-conscious and it shows in the way we dress, the way we interact, and the way we feel about ourselves in all aspects of our lives.

You know, I get it. I get when something seems out of the norm that we feel self-conscious about it. Maybe you think you have a large nose. Or your breasts are smaller than most. Or your hips won’t fit into “normal” cut jeans. Yes, I get it! I may not agree with it – but I get that feeling out of the “norm” can cause self-consciousness.

What I don’t get is that mamas are being self-conscious about things that are completely NORMAL.

I remember the summer before I got pregnant. I was at the neighborhood pool with the boys. They were splashing around while I relaxed in the recliners. I looked over at the baby pool area to see a young mother self-consciously splashing around with her toddler. I noticed that her bathing suit was a deep purple – to hide any sort of body imperfections – and came up high on her chest with a “grandma skirt” covering most of her thighs. It looked so odd to me to see a 20-something woman swimming around in a swim suit I’d expect to see on someone who was 65. I looked down at my own swimsuit, modest (no need to get my kids teased at the pool) but still modern. The only thing I could determine was that having her baby had made her too self-conscious to be comfortable in a typical bathing suit even though looking at her, she seemed to have one of the fittest body types at the pool!

Pregnancy and childbirth comes with changes to our body. Maybe that means stretch marks across the stomach. Maybe hips have permanently widened.  Or maybe breast shapes changed. There’s an immeasurable amount of changes that can take place. It’s all completely NORMAL!

It’s time to stop listening to those “beauty” advertisements telling us that stretch marks, wide hips, or changing breasts are a bad thing. It’s time to stop letting companies tell us that these items make us less of a beautiful woman. Why would the very things that mark the miracle our body has performed – the very things our body was designed to do – make us less beautiful as a woman?

To combat the negativity of these advertisers, let’s encourage the moms of today! Tell your wife she’s beautiful in her skin. Encourage your friends that those wider hips really emphasize her hour glass figure. Say anything that reinforces her natural beauty as a woman. Say it again and again and again. Because eventually, she’ll finally start to believe you.


7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Fleur
    Nov 12, 2010 @ 15:26:14

    So true. My husband calls my stretch marks my “badges of motherhood”. 🙂


  2. jasondeeds
    Nov 12, 2010 @ 15:26:45

    You are an amazing and beautiful woman who I love more each and every day. “*slap* your a penguin”


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  4. Becky
    Nov 12, 2010 @ 16:43:27

    Semi-off-topic…I wonder if that mom at the pool was just being modest. Back on-topic…I can’t relate. Mom is a job title, not an identity. When the hemroid flairs up, I think, “Thanks a lot Natalie!” and move on. TMI?


    • jasondeeds
      Nov 13, 2010 @ 10:41:33

      I wouldn’t say that “mom” or “dad” for that matter are someone’s entire identity, but surely its more then just a job title? Being a “dad” makes up more of my identity than “Customer Service Manager.”


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