Being a “New Mom”

On our last day of being in the hospital following Keira’s birth, my daytime nurse came in to start the check out process by putting together all our forms and performing Keira’s last little tests. She found Jason sitting on the laptop sending out announcement pictures and emails. Meanwhile, I was enjoying the peaceful moment while Keira slept in her bassinet by reading up on her baby development out loud to Jason. After a bit, the nurse turned to us and said “You guys are one of my favorite patients! You’re definitely one of the most relaxed first time parents I’ve had!!”

I smiled at her as she walked away, proud of myself for staying calm as a new mom.

But wait….

I’m not a new mom!!

“New Mom”. The most frustrating phrase to hear in the last couple of months. Doctors asking, “Do you plan to have a second child?” Friends giving advice on how to raise and parent children. Or coworkers saying “Oh, just wait until she’s older – you’re in for a surprise!” So many people just tend to overlook the fact that I already have two children.

“Well, you know what I mean….”

I try not to feel that my role as a mother has been invalidated with these statements. In reality, we’ve been a part of raising these boys since they were 5 & 6, piggy-backing off of the parenting already instilled into them by my parents. Before we moved in with them, we were still a part of watching them grow and getting daily updates from 3,000 miles away. And while the transition to being an aunt to a mom was difficult, it was much easier to begin parenthood at that age than the learning curve of being a new mom to a newborn.

I realize that there’s plenty to learn as a mom to a new infant. I’ve never had to deal with breastfeeding or needing to find fulltime year-round childcare. But there’s a sense of confidence we now experience as parents to our third child. There’s the knowledge and understanding that we won’t break our child and damage them forever if we’re giving them the love they need. The basics of how to balance our time and the parenting philosophies have already been figured out.

I’m not a new mom. I’m the mother to a new baby. I’m the mother to an artistic, sensitive jock. I’m the mother to an independent, sarcastic tween.


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